It’s National Breastfeeding Week, so I wanted to share a bit about my breastfeeding journey.
Cannon & I are currently 4+ months strong with exclusively breastfeeding! I know 4 months seems like nothing, but I am so proud & grateful to have gotten this far! The amount of work, love & determination that have gotten us to this point cannot be measured.
I’m going to be honest, breastfeeding has been so different than I imagined it would be. It has been a fight & a struggle almost every step of the way so far. It is crazy how something that’s meant to be so natural can be so difficult...(hello infertility!) At times, it has taken nearly all of my strength to persevere. There have been days where my only goal was to make it to & through the next feeding. I have cried countless times over how hard it is, how defeated I’ve felt & how exhausted I’ve been.
Breastfeeding has been challenging, but it’s also been beautiful & definitely worth the work. After adopting & formula feeding twice, I realize what a privilege it is to feed my third baby from my body. For a long time, this experience is one I thought I might never have. I am so thankful I’m able to do it!
My life pretty much revolves around breastfeeding - not just because I feed Cannon on demand around the clock, but also with staying on top of drinking enough water, eating constantly (I got back to pre-pregnancy weight very quickly but have gained weight from breastfeeding because I’m hungry all.the.time!), avoiding clogged ducts (I’ve had mastitis twice & lost count of the number of clogged ducts - hello misery), worrying about my supply all the time, struggling to feed in public, pumping when Cannon refuses a feeding, bringing him to weekly appointments for feeding therapy, physical therapy & chiro + the list goes on.
I am still taking this journey one day at a time. I’ve heard time & time again that the first few months of BF are the most difficult. I hope that someday soon, the good feeding days will outnumber the hard feeding days. When I look back, I’m amazed at all the obstacles we’ve overcome these past 4 months!
When things do go smoothly, it’s empowering. I love feeding my boy & truly cherish our precious moments of bonding together. When Cannon looks up at me with his sweet milky grin my heart can hardly take it. It’s an incredible feeling to snuggle my boy close & know that I am all he needs! I hope the sweet, beautiful moments will continue to increase with each day that passes. I hope I will be able to continue to breastfeed Cannon for as long as I want/as long as he needs!
My husband has been my biggest cheerleader & supporter...I definitely wouldn’t have made it this far without him in my corner! Although I am definitely grateful for the support I have received while breastfeeding, I wish there was more support for BF mothers & for all mothers, especially the first few months postpartum.
I feel like this goes without saying, but of course I believe fed is best. I will never ever judge or shame another woman in her journey of feeding her baby. I know firsthand that this topic & each person’s decision/experience is complex! The shame & guilt, feeling misunderstood & questioning our own decisions, wrestling with what’s best, feeling like we failed or aren’t enough can be so so heavy.
All you mommas blessed by adoption, I want you to know you’re always on my heart. I know reading post after post this week about breastfeeding isn't the easiest thing for your momma heart. I’ve been there.
Motherhood is harder than I ever imagined it would be.
We are all doing our best & what we feel is right for us! As my friend Crista shared, “Let the normalcy and support and education that #nationalbreastfeedingweek brings help you fight your battle. But let your motivation for why you do what you do and the sweetness you reap from it be between you and your baby alone. Leave the guilt and shame out of it.“ So much love to all you mommas! You’re amazing, strong & you’re doing a great job! 😘