Adoption is hard. Adoption is beautiful. Adoption is messy.
This process can be extremely overwhelming. It can also be unbelievably fulfilling. Today is a hard day in my journey with adoption. I was just washing dishes and as I stood there at the sink, tears starting flowing and words starting coming to my mind/heart. So I sat down to write this post in hopes that it will make sense, give ya'll an insight into our journey and maybe even relate to your own journey of faith.
The unknown weighs heavy on my soul. I am feeling scared, confused and torn about the future of my family. On this journey, I have been challenged. My faith has been tested. I have been stretched emotionally. I have reexamined my views on what makes a “family.” I have thought about and read about God’s heart for family, sacrifice and redemption. I have questioned my dreams, my motives and my heart.
I know these challenges are part of God’s will and journey for me. God is teaching me much about His heart, His vision and His plan. A lot of the time it looks a lot different than mine. I’m tempted to put limitations on what I think I can handle. Maybe I’ve held onto my idea of what our family will look like a little too much. Maybe in doing so I have allowed part of my heart to harden. And maybe I haven’t allowed myself to hear God’s voice as clearly…
These are the types of things that are on my mind today. Are they easy to deal with? No, but I believe they are necessary. I believe God is working with a purpose in this difficult time in our adoption journey. He is asking me to live what I believe. My faith is so important to me, but lately I have found myself frozen with fear and full of uncertainty. He is asking me to trust Him and to let Him guide us in growing our family. It won’t always be easy but I do believe it will be worth it. Taking risks are hard but God often asks His people to walk in faith through the hard and ugly for the sake of His name and His purpose. He uses the messy to bring His hope, love and restoration to this lost, broken and hurting world.
How can we expect God to perform miracles for us if we aren't willing to put ourselves in the position to need a miracle? God has always had a way in turning ashes to beauty. Scripture is a testament to that…so today I’m diving into His word and coming before Him with an honest but open and trusting heart. I am saying, “Lord, lead me. Help me walk through the hard times with your grace, strength and vision.”
Would you be praying for us? We would appreciate it so much.
Prayer requests & an update on where we are in the process:
We are expecting to be living in Canada for about another month & a half. We should be home by end of November or the first week of December at the latest, if we go to the Grey Cup. I am hoping we will be back for Thanksgiving, which also falls on my Birthday this year. At the same time, it would be incredible for my husband’s football team, the Hamilton Tiger-cats, to go to the Grey Cup (which is basically the Superbowl of the CFL).
We are open to a baby born as early as the first week of December. We’re praying we will have more time than that to prepare for the arrival of Baby K after moving back home (to Louisiana where we live during the offseason). For us, January seems like the ideal month for Baby K to be born. However, we know that God’s plans are better than ours and we are believing that we will be able to make whatever due date He gives us work! Every day we are checking our email (I check it about 100 times a day with my heart pounding every time) & waiting to hear from our consultants about potential situations. Please pray that when the right situation comes along we will have peace and confidence in sending our book to the birthmother.
It is the desire of our hearts to be matched with our baby SOON. We are presenting our requests to God and asking that He would meet us where we are… We are praying the details would start falling into place. Pray that God’s mighty hand would be all over every detail in this process from now until when Baby K is officially ours. Pray for our waiting hearts…pray for God to strengthen our faith and our understanding of His plan.
Pray for our continued fundraising efforts. We have been blessed by so many and are truly blown away and forever thankful. We are getting close to reaching our fundraising goal, only $6,000 away!!!
We believe in the power of prayer and nothing would mean more to us than for you to join us in lifting up these requests. It's been 6 months since we announced our adoption & 7 months since we started this process. This journey continues to be whirlwind but we know Baby K is worth it all.
Thanks for praying & supporting us as we journey on!
Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.
Juno girl is so excited about Baby K!
Photo credit to Eva Cranford Photography
Photo credit to Eva Cranford Photography
Photo credit to Carolynn Seibert Photography