“You are so lucky you can’t get pregnant.”
It was about 6 months after we had received our infertility diagnosis & just a couple months after we had started the adoption process. I was at a BBQ where I hardly knew anyone. Cary was outside & I was inside chatting with a few women who were curious about our decision to adopt. I’d been asked “Why adoption?” & had just finished sharing about our difficulty getting pregnant & my deep desire to be a mother. Although I was extremely excited about our decision to adopt, I was still working through a lot of pain from our infertility diagnosis. She had recently given birth & stood there holding her adorable, tiny, & perfect son as the words came out of her mouth. I remember the pain, anger & shock that coursed through my body as she said those words to me (I realize now she was probably dealing with postpartum blues & just having a hard time adjusting to motherhood). I remember the tears on the drive home. I remember the way my heart hurt that night as I cried into my pillow, “I’m not lucky, I am cursed.”
I remember how that comment shook me to my core & brought me back to a place of vulnerability before the Lord. Through that experience, God continued to challenge my faith, meet my needs & bring healing to my heart.
Today, as I sat quietly rocking our precious Isabel Grace, she snuggled her face into my neck, the words “lucky me” echoed through my mind & heart. My eyes filled with tears as I held my adorable, tiny & perfect daughter & thanked God for His plan for our family. It’s amazing how He took the most painful news of my life, & brought from it the most beautiful blessing of my life… Lucky me.
Photo credit to Elizabeth LaRoche
Lucky me… He had a better plan that I could ever have imagined.
Lucky me… Our infertility diagnosis led us to consider adoption earlier than we would have ever dreamed
Lucky me… He challenged me to step out in faith as He called us to adopt & then met us EVERY step of the way.
Lucky me… He didn’t leave me alone in my pain, but through it, He taught me much about His character & love.
Lucky me... I’ve learned what it means to trust Him on a deeper level.
Lucky me… I have seen the Lord work miracles, answer prayers & move mountains for our family.
Lucky me… My view of “what makes a family” has been radically changed, that my heart for life has been deepened, & my passion for adoption has been awakened.
Lucky me… As a result of all Cary & I have been through over the past 2 years, our marriage is stronger, our friendship deeper & our gratitude for our daughter greater than it would have been if growing our family had been as easy as we’d planned for it to be.
Lucky me… Through our infertility diagnosis & adoption journey, the Lord has changed me & refined me.
Lucky me… Every single day I’m deeply aware that our daughter is a gift & motherhood is an honor.
Lucky me… He was faithful to not only answer my prayers, but to answer them in a way that radically changed my life for the better.
Lucky me… The Lord chose me to be the mother of His precious Isabel Grace.
Lucky me... He taught my heart to cry out with joy & confidence, "I’m not cursed, I am blessed."
God has a purpose for every stage of our lives. Through the good & bad, easy & hard, ugly & beautiful, He is enough for us. Even when life is rough, He hasn’t abandoned us. Through my experience, painful trials are an invitation for us to experience tremendous growth in Him. The desire of His heart is for us to know Him & experience His deep love for us in a way that forever changes us. When we allow Him to walk with us through the hard, He changes us for the better… He teaches us to be satisfied in Him, regardless of circumstances.
No matter what stage of life you are in, I hope our journey encourages you to seek the Lord & to rest in His plan.
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” ~James 1:2-4
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ~Philippians 4:6
"But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." ~Isaiah 40:31
“In the day when I cried out, You answered me, and made me bold with strength in my soul.” ~Psalm 138:3
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ~Jeremiah 29:11
Happy St. Patrick’s Day!