Tuesday, November 17, 2015

National Adoption Month: Faithful Father

God is faithful to me, even when I am not faithful to Him. 
I am so thankful that He comes down to meet us right where we are… In the middle of our broken messes or in the midst of our highest praises He is the same faithful Father. 

Over the past 2 years, I've had a whole lot of "messy" inside of me. Infertility & adoption have a way of bringing out ALL THE FEELS- which includes a lot of messy emotions & struggles. Our infertility diagnosis plunged me into a grief so deep that for a while, I didn't think I would ever make it out. I've been angry, I've lashed out at God, I've been hollow & empty of hope. Throughout both our infertility & adoption journeys, I've been sad & jealous, bitter & frustrated, impatient & anxious. I've doubted God, struggled with surrendering control & battled fear. My faith has been challenged to the breaking point… 

I literally had to get to a place of complete brokenness before the Lord before I was able to be honest with Him & myself. I've had to face the reality that for most of my life, I've put my trust in myself, in my dreams & my plans. I've been forced to ask myself, "Do I believe God is enough for me? "Do I truly believe that God has a plan for me? Do I believe His plan is best?" & then had to decide how I was going to live if I believed the answer to those questions to be yes… 

 God puts our broken pieces back together & mends our hearts when we let Him in. I'm a work in progress like we all are…when crap hits the fan, I still struggle with handing my "mess" over to Him… I still struggle to have peace & joy in hard circumstances… I still fail to put too much trust in myself & not enough in Him. But when I come before the Lord in complete surrender, I experience peace, & healing…He gives me strength, hope & grace. Regardless of my circumstances, I want to proclaim "God is faithful" & lean on Him for the strength to live in a way that reflects my belief. Refinement is a messy process; but God gives us grace upon grace... I am so grateful He loves us enough not to leave us in our own mess.  

I don't know what messy circumstances you are facing today. I don't know what pain you've endured or what loss you've suffered… I may not be able to understand your specific struggles or know what it's like to be in your situation, but I do know what it's like to feel broken, lose hope & be a mess inside. I can share my experience in hopes that it points you to the One who does understand & wants heal your heart. I can pray my story & my words offer you hope. If you invite God into your broken places, He will build you back up on His strong foundation.  

With love, 

"We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;  perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." 
~Romans 5:3-5 

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." 
~Romans 8:28 

 "And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." 
~Romans 8:38-39 

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